Have you ever wondered why some people are popular and some not? What quality do they have and how can one also drill in these qualities so that you are more effective in life and dealing with others?
Some people just seem to know how to sweet talk their clients, or the girls or boys. They always seem to be liked and people just seem to treat them well. These people never seem to, or very rarely, have upsets with others and when they do, they get past it very smoothly. This article will show you why this is and how you can acquire that quality too.
It’s actually not that difficult to be liked. In fact it’s rather easy when you know the fundamentals of good (and real) public relations. The funny thing is that PR in the modern age seems to come with a “fake” stigma attached. A smiley salesman or an overly happy front desk receptionist are examples of this. Don’t get me wrong, smiling is great and in fact can make someone feel better, but not a manic type grin. That is immediately and instinctively not trusted.
Firstly, have you ever met one of these people? I mean a person who is really happy and nice? I’m not talking about someone who smiles at you and as soon as you turn away their face falls back to a sad frown that shows how they are really feeling. I’m talking about someone who is genuinely so likeable that you are actually a bit jealous? These people are rare. But you do bump into them from time to time.
Here’s the difference between the real deal and the fake. The real deal actually like other people no matter what they are like. They see the good in others rather than the bad. They force themselves to be positive about life and live in the moment. They do not focus on the past but are rather always building a future for themselves. This is not easy for anyone to do when faced with setbacks and losses that life is bound to throw at one. The funny thing is, the more you focus on the future and not the past, the more you decide to be happy and nice to people, the easier life becomes. You pull into your life what you put out. This is not some airy fairy datum, it is just how this universe works.
Alright, so how do you turn things around so that you are happy again and more good things are happening and less bad things are happening. Well, it is gonna take some drilling, or practice so that it becomes part of who you are and becomes your standard operating basis. An operating basis that you don’t even have to think about anymore, it’s just part of you.
HOW IT’S DONE!
- Always see something in another that you can like. Doesn’t matter who it is, try to see something that you like. This maybe the fact that they are hard working. What I mean is, they may be the most unlikeable person around the office, but they work hard and get the job done. You focus on that quality and not the unlikeable characteristics.
- Always communicate a positive message. Don’t get sucked into negative stuff like a political post on FB or gossip about ANYONE! Only positive stuff. Nobody ever comes out of a negative communication feeling good. Be the bigger person (not the lofty person), and ignore negative stuff. One of the main sources of negative communications is the news. The news can be switched off which will give you more gain than loss. Try it for a week and see how you feel.
- Refrain from being critical. Even “positive criticism”. Just don’t do it! The trick is to only acknowledge the good and ignore the bad. An example would be: A friend has a car accident and damages his car badly. It was his fault and he feels terrible about it. The wrong thing to say would be “WOW! That car is trashed! That’s going to cost a fortune and I’m not sure the insurance will pay.” This leaves nobody feeling good, even you. The correct response would be: “I’m glad you’re ok and well done for being honest about who was responsible. Is there anything I can do to help with this?” Now everyone feels a bit better and there looks like there is a solution to the issue, and some support from you. That makes you and the friend feel better and solution oriented.
- Always answer your communications when possible. This applies to all forms of communication. When someone says something, let them know you heard them. Don’t just assume they know you heard them. This could be a know with a smile, or an “Ok”, or and kind of indication that you heard them. There is nothing more frustrating than not getting an answer or acknowledgment to a communication. It leaves things hanging in the air and will stick your attention on it. If you make a habit of only answering “desired” calls and ignoring “uncomfortable” ones, you will end up with a whole string of attention stuck in the past. You will also end up with the same happening to you. You will have your communications ignored by others. Remember, the universe gives you what you dish out.
- Never take over a task someone else is supposed to do without first getting their absolute agreement. If you want to really start a family or office war then violate this rule. Nobody likes to be bypassed. There are obviously certain instances where a person needs to be bypassed, but only do this when it is absolutely necessary.
- Set a good example to others. There is nothing more disappointing than looking up to someone and taking their advice only to find they do not follow their own creed. This rule is important as it also forces one to up his own game when giving advice or operating in a family or workplace and being observed by others.
These are basic rules of how to be liked and do not automatically just become part of you. You need to drill them and practice, practice, practice. There will be invitations to break these rules, that’s just how life is. But if you want life to change and get better, and for people to like you which makes living so much easier, stick to these rules.
Do not believe people when they say “Oh! I don’t need to be liked!” Although that is true to a degree, they usually say this because they are not liked and are trying to justify their state of being disliked. These drills and this article is actually a method on how to make life easier, and that only comes about if you get along with your fellow man and they get along with you.